The Cell

My bedroom has a closet. It’s a good size closet. And with this obsession I’ve had lately, it’s only natural that I started to think about it’s suitability as a prison cell. Turns out, it works. Once it’s cleared of my stuff, here is what it looks like.

Alright, so safety first right? The bottom of the door has plenty of ground clearance to allow for adequate ventilation. in addition, a small fan just outside the door will ensure even better circulation. I’m going to be locking the door with a simple metal latch (like people use for a shed) and a padlock.

I’m considering having no backup key. If I remove 3 of the 4 screws on each side of the latch, it will still function, but it will be easy to simply break the wood molding by pulling the door hard. It’s not Alcatraz, but it comports with the idea of consequences, that I’ve blogged about previously. A busted door frame is not something I can fix myself. It should be enough of a deterrent to keep me compliant with my captor’s will.

And if that’s not safe enough, there’s always the “key that does not exist”. I still have to come up with a really severe consequence for using that key that is enforceable.

So it’s safe in there. I could survive in there for a few days without any real risk.

So that’s it, it’s just a room. Beyond that, every detail is an opportunity to torment me.

What about sanitation? A bucket is simple, effective, easy clean up. The have lids. It’s not the most dignified, but it’s effective and clean. Significantly less dignified would be a litter box. that’s what I had in the tent scene with Ms Delia. Luckily I didn’t have to use it. But it was an intimidating presence the entire time. Even less dignified would be adult undergarments, or newspaper on the floor.

Lights. There is one light fixture in the room, in the center of the ceiling. It takes a standard bulb. And standard size bulbs come an all varieties of brightness and colors. The switch for this particular fixture is outside of the cell. So it has to be either always on, or always off. I think having them always off would make for very poor viewing for Ms Cassandra, so I’m guessing the lights will be on.

Alternative option for lights. I could turn off the fixture in the cell, and bring a lamp in there instead. There are no electrical outlets, so I would have to keep it near the door so the cord can go underneath and be plugged in outside. I have a device that connects to an electrical outlet and allows the current to be switched on and off on a timer. The device has 48 buttons, each corresponding to a 30 minute period during the day. Then you simply set which intervals you want the lights on, and which intervals you want them to be off.

I would have a phone in there. Not a smartphone or anything fun. But a boring landline handset and a second handset as a backup. That reduces the risk of not having a backup key. I can always call for help. But the main function of the phone is to communicate with my captor. Depending on the length of my sentence, I would purchase a commensurate block of minutes and let Ms Cassandra make call backs at her leisure, leaving me totally helpless and dependent on her for any information or interaction.

I’ll need food and water. The quantity is open to determination. As is the delivery method. I could be given all of my food at once, and have to portion it out myself. Or my food could be put inside a lockable box, and disbursed at my captors direction.

I think super-gross food would be a hard limit for me. I can handle bland, tasteless, dry, etc. But if all I’ve got is canned herring and vinegar, I’ll probably just go hungry. I can live on just water for a couple days.

Next is comfort items. Options are: A very thin rubber yoga mat. The foam mat pictured. An inflatable sleeping pad (not an air mattress, this is made for backpacking, it’s bare minimum cushion). Also I have various pillows and blankets.

It’s a closet, so there is wire shelving along the two long sides of the room. Any bedding I’m allowed could be revoked by stuffing it in a backpack, locking the zippers and then securing it on the shelving above. I could use a combination lock, so my captor could grant access again if she wants to.

and that’s the basics of the prison cell. I’ll follow up with another block post about how to occupy the hours